Lily Evans is dead
by SkyeElf
Summary: This was it: her wedding day. The day that would start the rest of her life, and she couldn't let her past hold her back. For OSG loves to read.


**A/N: This is for OSG love to read, because they are such an awesome reader of mine.**

**I don't own Harry Potter.**

**Lily Evans is dead  
**

Lily stared at herself in the mirror. She quite liked what she saw - she looked good, even if she had to say it herself. She had to look good, after all, this was the day that started the rest of her life. She wanted to look her best.

Granted, the proposal had been in a bit of a rush, seeing as they didn't know if they would live to see the next day, but she liked the idea of 'the start of the rest of her life', it was an ideal image she harboured in her mind and heart, a perfect image of her and the love of her life.

_Lily and James were going out for their weekly date night. They had decided that in the midst of the war, they needed to spend some time together, even if they just spent the evening together talking. But this time, he had told her to dress nicely. Lily had put on a simple dress and arranged her hair into a pretty look. She had even put on a bit of make-up.  
_

_James took her to a beach nearby. He had on a pair of black pants and a button up dark blue shirt, which looked very good on him, she had to admit.  
_

_He had the ability to make her smile like an idiot. She hated it and loved it at the same time - it was very confusing for her. But she knew she liked spending time with him, talking to him, hugging him, kissing him...  
_

_She was heads over heels in love with him, and she loved it. It had been almost two years since they started going out._

_He had packed a picnic for them. _

_Once they had finished eating, he pulled her to her feet and they walked along the water, having left their shoes on the blanket they'd just sat on. The icy water went over their feet, and soon James' pants' legs were soaked, so he rolled them up.  
_

_"Lily?" James said suddenly. They'd been walking in complete silence for a while, hand in hand. Normally Lily would freak out over someone's sweaty hands in hers, but with James she never cared. She kind of liked it._

_"Yes?" She replied, putting her other hand on his arm and cuddling up to him._

_"This war... I don't know if I'll wake up tomorrow, and it's hard to live with it if I lost you," he started, "you're one amazing girl, Lils, and I thank my lucky stars you said yes to me after about five years of bothering you, and I'm also sorry for being such an idiot to Snape and to you..." He stopped walking and turned to her, the water lapping at their feet. James looked down, saw the water and laughed nervously. She sensed his nervousness, the way he looked at her, over his glasses, and the way his index finger twitched in her hand. Some nervous habits of him she'd picked up on._

_He sighed, lowering himself to one knee, getting himself even more soaked than he had been, and protruded a ring. She gasped, her eyes widening. James looked up at her, his expression hopeful._

_"Lily Evans... will you marry me?" He asked. Lily's smile almost went around her head, and she swore it would've gone if it weren't for her ears stopping it. At that moment she didn't care if they were just eighteen, that they would have to depend on James' parents for money, seeing as she was just starting her potions career and James just started his auror training a year ago - all she knew was that she loved him with all of her heart and she wanted to marry him with every fibre of her being.  
_

_Lily then did something very embarrassing - she squealed. She shrieked and yelled "yes!" like a four year old receiving his very first bike. He grinned, put the ring on her finger, stood up quickly and caught Lily as she leaped into his arms.  
_

"Lily?" Marlene was outside the door.

"Come in!" Lily called, smoothing down the dress again. Of course it was already smooth, seeing as it was made out of silk, but it was a nervous habit she had. At least she didn't bite her nails anymore, that was a horrid habit she had until her seventh year.

Marlene came in quietly, walking up to behind Lily and staring at her best friend in the mirror.

"You look amazing." Marlene smiled at Lily's reflection, her eyes going over Lily.

The dress wasn't white, but it was close; it was cream, made of silk that felt soft against Lily's skin - she quite liked that the dress wasn't made of lace, even the underwear, because lace was itchy and she honestly preferred a pair of old granny panties or a pair of bikini panties to lace, no matter how sexy they were.

She laughed internally at her ramblings, about underwear of all things. The dress clung tightly to her body, making her figure known to the world (and what a figure it was!), with large, white material roses folded from big to small on her left hip, leading to a slit that revealed a silver piece of fabric and a matching silver shoe. Her mother had helped her choose the dress, but Marlene had chosen the matching shoes.

Her hair had been curled, now falling elegantly onto her shoulders and she donned a tiara James' mother had bestowed upon her the previous weekend.

She had been rather surprised by reaction the Potter parents had had to her. They were nice, accepted her with open arms and weren't afraid to make their opinions known. She liked honest people, even if the honesty tended to hurt a bit.

_"You have such a lovely head of hair, dear," Mrs Potter said, tucking a loose strand of hair behind Lily's ear, "but you tend to hide your pretty face behind it."_

_Lily blushed. She wasn't shy, exactly, but she was very self-conscious. She always had been, her sister had sort of drilled into her that 'image to the public' was everything, and even though she tried to rid herself of horrendous thoughts, she didn't always succeed.  
_

_The two were in a guest bedroom with a mirror and a table. Mrs Potter had made Lily sit down, this was supposed to be where she got the 'talk' of not messing with her son after the proposal. It wasn't the first time she had visited the Potters', but it was the first time Mrs Potter had insisted on talking to her alone. Lily had gulped, hid behind her mass of red hair and followed.  
_

_"I don't bite, dear," Mrs Potter had laughed, her brown eyes crinkled, "I know you won't mess with James, I'm not going to scold you like some naughty child. The way you resisted the boy until now shows me you're worth it." She winked at Lily's reflection.  
_

_Lily had laughed at that. Mrs Potter had smiled in delight - finally Lily had responded!_

_Mrs Potter looked at Lily. It hadn't been the first time that Lily had visited them, but she was always nervous. Mrs Potter turned around, saying she would be back in a second and that Lily shouldn't move. Lily didn't know if that meant she should pause her breathing and blinking too, but figured Mrs Potter wasn't that extreme.  
_

_When she returned, she had something in her hands, and Lily's curiosity spiked. She wasn't one for material things, but if someone brings something to you, you're bound to be curious.  
_

_"Mr Potter's mother gave this to me for my wedding," Mrs Potter said, placing a dainty tiara on Lily's head, "It's goblin made, so it won't tarnish over time." Lily noted how specifically shiny it looked, as if it was brand new._

_Lily blushed. James' proposal had been only a few weeks ago, and now she was given a tiara. Was it considered too girly if she proclaimed to be feeling like a princess? Because she definitely felt like royalty, and she thought it would go perfectly with her dress.  
_

_"Would you accept it, dear?" Mrs Potter asked, her brows knitted together in concern. It was as if she was afraid that Lily would reject the gift, an thereby reject their entire family.  
_

_Lily got up, turned towards Mrs Potter and put her arms around the older woman._

_"Thank you." She whispered to Mrs Potter, trying to stop the tears from flowing. It had been a touching gesture on Mrs Potter's side.  
_

_Mrs Potter laughed good-naturedly, returning the hug, "Of course, Lily, you're about to become family."_

Lily smiled at the memory. It was so nice to be accepted for what she was. She tried not to think of her sister.

"Not long now," Marlene glanced at her watch, "James won't know what hit him." She looked up at Lily again.

"I don't know what hit me," Lily laughed, "how did James and I end up together, Marlene?"

Marlene grinned, "You wanted to get rid of him by any means necessary; saying yes to a date was the only way."

"Yes, there was that, and the tiny bit of me that wanted to get back at Severus." She tucked a curl behind her ear - her face should be open.

"And it worked." Marlene reasoned.

"Then I fell for James, hard too." She said dreamily. Marlene giggled again.

"Yes, of course," said a voice from outside, "can I please have a word with the bride, though? I don't want to listen to the bride faff over my best mate like some teenage girls. Even if we all are technically teenagers..."

Lily went over and opened the door, finding the very handsome face of Sirius Black grinning at her. She rolled her eyes at the goof.

He slipped into the room and looked at Lily.

"Wow, Lils, you clean up good." He whistled, severely impressed. She blushed again and slapped his arm playfully. She liked Sirius, he wasn't such a big prat anymore; it seemed as though her presence in the seventh year. He'd even passed his NEWTs with a few Es.

"Padfoot, did James remember the ring?" She asked, and Padfoot patted his robe pocket. She didn't want anything to ruin this day for her, and James was a bit forgetful at times.

"And he knows his vows, forwards and backwards, like the back of his and how he knows his broom," Sirius put a hand on her shoulder, "Relax, Lils, everything is going to be fine." He pulled her in for a hug. She relaxed briefly, before forcing him off her, she didn't want to ruin her dress. He laughed at her reaction, dodging the slaps she aimed at him.

Marlene looked at him dreamily, and when he shot her a wink she blushed scarlet and looked at her shoes.

"James isn't running away, now don't you do that either!" He teased her, winking, before disappearing again.

Lily shook her head in amusement at Sirius' antics. Her thoughts turned to something else, something a bit more morbid.

"Marlene, did you see my parents?" Lily asked nervously. That wasn't exactly what she wanted to ask, but she didn't want to ask about Petunia first.

"Yes, they're standing outside, waiting for the wedding to begin." Marlene smiled, her eyes moving over Lily again. She grinned at Lily, "Your dad keeps sticking his chest out, he's so proud of you." Lily knew that.

Lily cast her eyes down. Her heart swelled a bit at that; two people that would never give up on her.

She swallowed, "And... And Petunia?" She asked nervously. She wouldn't admit it, but she missed her sister. She had asked Petunia to be her Maid of Honour, but the other woman gracelessly declined.

_"Come on, Petunia, it's my wedding! You have to go!" Lily had positively begged. Petunia turned her nose to the air, as if Lily stank of dung, or as if Lily was below her social standing. When Lily had shown up on Petunia's doorstep, she had bundled the teenager into the kitchen and told her to be quick about it. Lily rolled her eyes, of course, she was afraid that moron Vernon would miraculously show up from work early and see the freak in their spotless, middle-class trying to be upper-class, tacky and annoying kitchen._

_"Honestly, Lily! You expect me to party and make small talk with a bunch of your lot?" Petunia scoffed, "You can't be serious! And you're much to young to get married! I hope it isn't that Snape boy, for heavens sake, he's a strange one."_

_"He isn't, Petunia, he happens to be more intelligent than both you and your oaf of a husband combined!" She didn't know why she was defending Snape, probably force of habit, "And I'm marrying James Potter - you've met him! I recall you eyeing the man the first time you met him!"_

_Petunia's cheeks got a little redder, "I did no such thing! And he is a freak, Lily, just like you are! I would _never _go out with one of your lot!"_

_"There is nothing wrong with MY lot, Petunia! And do I need to remind you how desperately you wanted to be part of my lot?" Lily fired back. She knew it had been a low blow, but Petunia needed to be reminded.  
_

_"That was until I realised what your lot really was! A bunch of freaks!" Petunia shrieked, her eyes wide, making her look like a surprised skeleton.  
_

_Lily rolled her eyes - if she got a knut for every time Petunia had called her a freak over the past eight years, she would be richer than James. And she would be richer than the Malfoys if she got a knut for everytime Petunia had used the word freak - Lily thought it was her sister's favourite word.  
_

_"You're a jealous little girl, Petunia, and when you're ready to grow up and see the world isn't just black and white, hike up your stiff pantyhose and send me an owl." With that Lily had walked out of the room, leaving a stunned Petunia in her wake._

Lily had sometimes wondered if perhaps she'd gone too far and was maybe too harsh on her older sister. Sisters were supposed to have the ability to be radically honest with one another, but it seemed as though Petunia couldn't handle said honesty.

_"You're not my sister, Lily!"_

Those were the words that had stung the most. Petunia had yelled it after her as she made to apparate.

_Well_, Lily thought, setting her jaw, _if Petunia wanted to be childishly jealous, then she could just go and screw herself._

Lily winced at her thoughts. It wasn't like her to use that language, but she was really angry at her sister. She was also incredibly hurt by her sister.

And then she wrote Lily off. She told her she never wanted to see Lily again, she didn't want anything to do with Lily and her kind. She had yelled it from her doorway, risking a very public scene, one her idiotic husband wouldn't approve of, but Petunia had seemed to be beyond caring.

As much as that stung - Lily had cut her losses and moved on. She couldn't dwell on the past, especially not now she was starting her life anew.

She smiled at Marlene, whose face had fallen after Lily's question.

"It's okay. She has no idea what she's missing." Lily said softly. Lily knew that was true, because Mrs Potter had spared no expense on this wedding. It was traditional for the bride's parents to pay for the wedding, but Mrs Potter wouldn't have heard of it. Lily liked the Potters a lot, they were perfect.

There was also no doubt in her mind that if Petunia found out just how wealthy the Potters were, she'd suddenly become Lily's best friend again. Lily, for obvious reasons, hadn't told her.

Marlene offered her a soft smile, before the two turned to the door as it opened again.

"It's time." It was Lily's mother. Lily nodded and followed her mum. Her heart suddenly beat loudly in her ears and her breath came out as a bit shaky.

Her dad was waiting for her. She lowered the veil over her eyes and linked a gloved hand through her father's arm. The gloves was another thing Mrs Potter had insisted on.

As the wedding march started, the doors opened and she heard everyone get to their feet to glimpse the bride. Her heart was trying to climb out of her throat, that was how hard it was beating.

Her eyes were fixated on James. He was wearing a broad smile, though she detected the nervousness in him. He couldn't hide anything from her. She knew him way too well. Just like she knew Severus, only she knew James a lot better. Her heart subsided, her palms stopped sweating and her breathing returned to normal.

She missed Severus, and some part of her wished she'd given him another chance, but she couldn't get over his sanctimonious rancor. How dare he pretends to be someone else? Whether it is to her or his Slytherin friends. He had lied so much, that he couldn't distinguish truth from lies anymore. He'd lost his own identity so much... he needed to make up his mind, and soon too.

She smiled and took James' hand as her father let go of her. He kissed her hand and they turned to the minister. This felt right. She would see this through, just like she knew he would.

Lily Evans was dead. Lily Potter emerged. And the past wouldn't hold her back.

Never again.

. . .

**A/N: Hope you liked it OSG!**


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